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When you threaten or hit your daughter, her limbic system – the part of that brain that controls emotions, memories, and arousal – gets activated into a state of hyper-vigilance and readiness to respond to danger. Her amygdala gets the message that danger is coming and generates an emotional response that releases oxytocin. Over time, as her brain develops, this ripple of hormonal changes can permanently wire her brain to cope with this harsh treatment. Her nervous system will run on a continuous high because she will constantly anticipate more threats.

Hitting your daughter can not only impair her sense of trust and self-confidence, it is embarrassing, humiliating, and sends confusing messages about boundaries and her right to bodily integrity. Eventually, your daughter may experience emotional and cognitive numbing as she internalizes distress and aggression. Her self-esteem will be wounded and her spirit will be broken even as she develops a ‘hard’ or ‘tough’ or a so-called ‘strong black woman’ exterior at an early age.

— Stacey Patton, "Why You Should Never Spank Your Daughter"

H/T Kamakure Faure (via sonofbaldwin)
"The rush and pressure of modern life are a form, perhaps the most common form, of its innate violence. To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is to succumb to violence. More than that, it is cooperation in violence. The frenzy of the activist…destroys his own inner capacity for peace. It destroys the fruitfulness of his own work, because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful."
Thomas Merton, as quoted in Courtney Martin’s weekly column for On Being, "The Spiritual Art of Saying No"
(via beingblog)







Melissa Harris-Perry, Black Female Voices: Who Is Listening?

I love this woman


This succinctly explains why black people shame each other.



Perfect!!!!! This is such a hard concept to explain. Ughhhh I love this woman.

(Source: exgynocraticgrrl, via chescaleigh)




(H/T James Earl Hardy)


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(Source: uastis)


I have been wondering what to say in the wake of Michael Brown’s murder and the community uprising that I haven’t already said or that others haven’t already said or cried or yelled. This article says what needs to be said again, and the title captures a feeling that sweeps through me but that I refuse to give in to.

As James Baldwin and MLK and Langston Hughes and Ella Baker and so many others have said throughout the many years of heartbreak, hope, and heartbreak in this country: America was not made for us, but we, together with all people of conscience, must make America what it must become. Black people built this country, died for this country, and marched for this country in an effort to save its soul. We must not give in to the insidious idea that this is a white man’s land.

The one thing that I will say that I have not said before (or said clearly enough) is this: We, in the civil rights community, need to recognize this as a wake up call. WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING IS NOT WORKING. It is often said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. And so I wonder how many more times we are going to do this dance of sporadic protests, press conferences, lawsuits, demands for reform and then … repeat.

I will not pretend to have the answers, but I think we ought to ask some different questions, including: If the reform dance fails again and again, isn’t it time we consider a more radical approach?

Michelle Alexander, author of THE NEW JIM CROW: MASS INCARCERATION IN THE AGE OF COLORBLINDNESS (via sonofbaldwin)


Another young black man has been gunned down. His name was Mike Brown. He was unarmed.

My [redacted] e-mailed me because she knew I would be upset about this story, because she knows all of my heart, and all I could say in response was, “I am numb.”

I don’t care if Mike Brown…


imageYou know what fake confidence is, right? It’s that person who “knows it all.” Who always has the answer, even if it’s not right. He’s putting on a show for you and for himself. Meanwhile, the rest of us are working on our C level by wondering, inquiring, and paying attention to the world. Eventually, we feel confident in our confidence, and we don’t have to show it off — unless someone asks.



+ people saying “laverne cox is great because she doesnt get easily offended and maintains composure”

like. Yeah. she is a black trans woman and if she didnt stay calm and composed even when people are making invasive statements about her genitals and saying…



Stuck moment: I am sorry that I hurt her, and I do miss her a lot — but it’s her fault if she decides to sacrifice our relationship over such a stupid thing. I’m not going to take all the blame here. It’s up to her to decide if she wants me in her life.

In the best of times, it’s hard…